He Heard My Cry

God is so...

Awesome, inspiring, beautiful, wise, giving, LOVING, self-less, God is just GOD. 

I recently have been straying from Him since school started. I had been feeling too overwhelmed to do anything other than worry and do homework. But I'm beginning to realize that once I started to stray, things didn't get better, they got worse. But instead of me taking that as a sign that I need to move closer to Him than ever before, I used my issues as an excuse to say that I had no time to pray or that I had no time to worry. And in a ll honesty, I stopped talking to God because I wanted to do the things that I wanted to do. So I stopped studying, I stopped praying. I mean, why pray when I know I don't deserve to ask Him for anything? Why pray when I know for a fact I currently don't appreciate anything He is doing for me with the way I'm acting? Why go to church on Sunday when I know I was just at a party Saturday? It's so hard to live the life you want to live AND live the life that God has for you. And that's because you can't do both!!

Just a few minutes ago, I was on Twitter and I saw an old friend tweet about how amazing her morning prayer was.. how good she felt.. how she was able to rid of all her negative thoughts before they even came to mind. And it just sounded so peaceful. I miss feeling sound after prayer. So, I started to pray. And it felt so wrong. I had EVERYTHING to say, but I couldn't find the words (kinda like with my blog). My thoughts just seemed so cloudy and my heart just felt so out of it. So I instantly got discouraged and tweeted "I want to pray, but I don't even know what to say." 

I then decided to at least read my Joyce Meyer book, "The Confident Woman". It's a devotional that has daily inspirations in them for each day of the year. For today's reading, the ti
tle was "Pray Without Ceasing". It talked about how we don't find confidence in our prayers and this is why we don't pray very much, let alone pray without having a "prayerful attitude". When I say I was so amazed at how God talked to me in that instant... it was mind blowing, but not surprising at the same time. All the doubts that I had been having, faded. I now see that no matter how much I mess up, God is always willing to help me get on track. Me finding that specific topic in my devotional was His way of letting me know that I have the tools to get on the right track, I just have to use them. I have to put in the same amount of energy that I put on school,friends, parties... on Him. I have to make time for HIM. 

I just wanted to share that with you all. Hopefully it makes you smile and inspires you. :)